Expecting... again?!
Apparently, I am only meant to be pregnant when an element of shock is part of the picture.
Eleven years ago, when we learned that we were expecting twins, we were so stunned that Stephen had to call in to work to ask to be taken off the flying schedule for the rest of the day—something that never happened before or since—because he was too dazed to safely pilot an airplane. (Read more about that momentous day here.) For weeks, we kept returning to the ultrasound photo of our two little butterbeans, trying to convince ourselves that we hadn't hallucinated the whole thing.
Fast-forward a decade-plus... Surprise! Positive pregnancy test!
As I sit at the computer, trying to put words to the last 30 weeks, this baby boy is kicking me, and still I can hardly believe it.
Don't get me wrong—mixed with the tears and the nausea was instant love and thankfulness. This was not our plan—it can only have been God's—and we are humbled that He has decided to bless us in this way, that somehow, this child is part of His perfect plan and purpose.
But when we Facetimed my parents to tell them our news and my mom knowingly said that I "had that look" about me, I couldn't help snarkily replying, "You mean shock and nausea?"
We totally thought that our baby days were behind us—long behind us.
Ironic comments that I made only months and weeks before finding out we were expecting:
"Now that our girls are this age, I can't imagine what it must have been like for my parents when I was nine and they found out my [only] sister was on the way!"
"It is SO nice that the girls are old enough now that we can leave them home alone while we run an errand or two. FREEDOM!" (Not to mention that I haven't had to help with bathtime, getting children ready for bed, getting dressed...in ages—heck, they even cook for themselves sometimes.)
"NOooo, my nephew does not give me baby fever! [Laughing almost mockingly that my sister's sweet friend would even suggest such an idea to someone my age with a pair of 10-year-olds.] We love him and are so glad that Allison & A.J. had him, so we can enjoy him and then give him right back!"
Those last words flew out of my mouth at Christmastime. We found out that we were expecting on February 3. You do the math.
And do you know how I delighted in not having to visit the diaper aisle? Pretty much every time I walked past the baby stuff aisle—for the past 7 or 8 years—a little voice in my head said, "So glad I don't have to shop there anymore!" I had to go to the commissary on my way back from my "official" pregnancy test at our base clinic, and passing that diaper aisle nearly made me pass out.
We're seriously doing this again?
Yes, seriously.
But as I sit here, still shaking my head at our plot twist, there is a lot of excitement and joy.
This is not what we thought the next chapter would be, but it is surely better than what we would have written for ourselves, though we were very content and happy with the way things were before.
I have been so very thankful for my sister, who came along when I was nearly ten. I have personally experienced how wonderful it is to have a much-younger sibling, and I know our girls are being given a tremendous gift in this baby brother to love.
And it's a boy! So much about this has been different than the last time around—somehow it just seems fitting that this baby is a boy. And he'll be almost exactly (maybe exactly???) a year younger than my sister's baby boy, who now lives only a couple of hours away from us. How fun is that?
We get to do the baby thing again—though I hadn't been yearning to start over, I am charmed by the thought of a newborn to snuggle... breastfeeding again (with only one mouth to feed this time)… and what will hopefully be a more relaxed parenting second go-around than the baptism-by-fire experience we had as first-time parents managing two babies at once.
So, blogosphere, we're expecting! Again. After an 11-year baby sabbatical. Now what is this new "bumpie" word I keep hearing???
